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- Wedding Ideas & Advice for the Couple, Wedding Party and Guests

The Bridesmaids’ Luncheon: One for the Girls

Another bridal shower? No - the bridesmaids’ luncheon is an event that you, as the bride, host for your attendants to thank them for all of their hard work on your behalf. While the bridesmaids’ luncheon is an optional pre-wedding celebration, it can be the perfect opportunity for you to show your appreciation for the members of your wedding party, all of whom have spent considerable amounts of their own time and money to make sure your wedding day is special. “Think about it,” notes Diane Forden, Editor in Chief of Bridal Guide magazine. “Your friends have spent money on the bridesmaid dress and shoes, they’ll throw you a shower and purchase a shower gift and wedding gift. A heartfelt thank-you from the bride is definitely called for.
The bridesmaids’ luncheon can be as elegant or informal as you like. Few set rules exist, but the following guidelines should help you plan a successful, stress-free celebration.
When’s the Party?
The date of your bridesmaids’ luncheon really depends upon whether or not your bridesmaids are traveling to the wedding. If your attendants are local, the luncheon usually takes place one or two weeks before the wedding. However, if your maids are coming in from out of town, it is probably more practical to host the event on the day before your wedding.
If your attendants are traveling, and you have no other time before your wedding, you may want to hold the luncheon on the wedding day itself. However, be honest with yourself - if you think you’ll be completely frazzled on the big day, you should avoid subjecting yourself to this additional stress.
Finally, don’t be restricted by the term “luncheon.” This celebration can take place at any time of day. A Sunday brunch, a late afternoon tea or an after-work dinner might be easier to plan and more convenient for your guests to attend.
Where’s the Party?
The venue for your luncheon really depends upon your style and how much you want to spend. You may want to go all-out with an elegant affair in a hotel dining room, complete with fine china, white table linens and a string quartet in the background. As long as it suits your style, there’s no reason not to have a posh, traditional affair, and it may also be a convenient choice if most of your attendants are staying at the same hotel.
Not comfortable with the “ladies who lunch” scene? Smaller cafes or tea salons can offer a more intimate environment, and are a good choice if you do not have a large bridal party. Just make sure you don’t go too small - that funky little downtown tearoom that you love may not be able to accommodate a private function. Do your research in advance.
If you would prefer to host a completely informal event, feel free to plan a get-together at your own home, an afternoon beach picnic or a backyard barbecue. You want to have fun and share time together, and you can do that just about anywhere!
Who’s Coming?
This event is for the women in your bridal party, so obviously, you must invite your maid of honor and all of your bridesmaids. If you have a flower girl, you can invite her if you think she is old enough to attend without getting fussy. Many brides also invite their mother and future mother-in-law, along with other close female family members.
What To Do?
Other than eating, what are you supposed to do at the bridesmaids’ luncheon? Unlike the bridal shower, there are no established “games” that go along with this event. However, the lunch provides the perfect opportunity to distribute your bridesmaids’ gifts. How you distribute them is up to you; if you’re having a more formal, sit-down affair, leave a gift at each place setting before your guests arrive. Or, take the intimate approach and hand out each gift personally. Feeling sentimental? Why not say a few warm words to each one of your bridesmaids before giving her your gift? Remember, this is the time to thank them for being part of the biggest event of your life, and to let them know how much they mean to you. Don’t be afraid to get gushy
The “charm cake” is a fun and delightful tradition that originated in England during Victorian times and is now becoming popular all over the United States. Silver charms (one for each bridesmaid) are attached to ribbons and then placed underneath the bottom layer of a cake. Each bridesmaid pulls a ribbon to discover her symbolic charm at the end. The symbols can include a ring (next to be engaged), a flower (love will blossom) or a wishbone (lucky in love). Unless you have an enormous bridal party, you should have no trouble finding one individual charm for each maid. You can purchase bridesmaids’ cake charms at most stores or websites that sell party supplies or wedding accessories
The important thing to remember about your bridesmaids’ luncheon, as with all of your pre-wedding events, is not to agonize over it. Think of it as an opportunity to unwind and spend some quality bonding time with your bridal party. Remember to relax, have fun and cherish this special time with the girls.
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