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- Wedding Ideas & Advice for the Couple, Wedding Party and Guests
Sitting Pretty! A Quick Guide to Reception Seating Etiquette.
| If your wedding reception involves a meal, you’ll need to figure out how your guests will sit to eat it. For cocktails and finger foods, you can forgo a formal plan. For a full meal however, whether the service is buffet or wait staff, you will need to designate seats. |
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For a large party, the seating may take some time to figure out. Start as soon as your R.S.V.P. cards are returned by determining the number of tables, location, and seats at each. Then make up a chart for yourself (also check with your reception site to see if they have a table chart or floor plan readily available) outlining the table positions and begin to fill in the names of your guests. Use a pencil so you’ll be able to make changes. |
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When deciding on seating placement, consider people's interests, personalities, and the way they know you and your groom. Seat friends who share hobbies or occupations together, as well as single guests and teens. Seat your old college group together. If there will be a number of children at your wedding, arrange a special table for them with books, favors, and a chaperone. Be aware of who you are seating near the band, as that area will be extremely loud. |
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Decide if you’ll have a head table, and if so, whether you want a dais, (everyone sits on one side of a long table facing the guests), or a regular table. If you decide on a dais, cover the table with a long cloth of lace, damask, or linen. Keep decorations low – bouquets and candles or simple garlands of flowers, greens, and ribbons – so guests get an unobstructed view. Traditionally, you and your groom sit in the center of the table (groom on the bride’s left, best man on her right). The matron or maid of honor sits to the groom’s left. Bridesmaids and ushers sit in alternating seats on either side. If the bridal party is small, you can include spouses and significant others at the head table or dais. If it is large, it’s acceptable to seat attendants at the head table, and their spouses and dates separatel |
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If you choose not to have a head table, you can sit with your parents and siblings, or alone at a table for two. If you choose the latter, you may want to plan a special parents’ table in which your mother and father, as hosts, would sit at opposite ends. The groom’s father would then sit at your mother’s right, and the groom’s mother to your father’s right. You could also set up two parents' tables, one for yours and one for his, which allows for more guests to be seated at “special” tables. If your parents are divorced, they can individually host tables of their families and friends. You can also choose to seat the parent who raised you with the groom’s parents, and the other with close friends or family. |
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If you are designating seating, write out table cards with guests’ names and table numbers, and set them in alphabetical order on a table near the doorway. (You might hire a calligrapher to write out these cards.) Check your cards against a master guest list to make sure you haven’t omitted anyone. Place cards at seats are optional, and are usually only used at the head table. |
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| Following these general guidelines will help ensure every guest has a wonderful time during the meal, as well as throughout your reception. |
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Ideas & Advice Archives for the Couple
Ideas & Advice Archives for the Wedding Party
Ideas & Advice Archives for the Guests
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